Laugh for the day

[Bill Childs]

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for the dogs and was in line to check-out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog...... (uhhh? .. )
I was feeling pretty witty so I told her,
"No, I'm starting The Purina Diet again. I probably shouldn't because the last time I did this diet, I ended up in the hospital, but since I lost 30 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and I.V's in both arms, it really works so, why not?"

Her eyes got very large.

I went on and on and she was totally hooked.
I told her it was an easy, inexpensive diet and the way it works is, you load your pockets full of Purina Nuggets and just eat one every time you get hungry and since the package says it is nutritionally balanced and complete, I was going to try it again.

Everyone in line was listening closely... some weren't 'hooked' ...

The lady asked me with a horrified expression,
"Was it something in the dog food that put you in the hospital?? "

"No" , I said. "I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me."

[DAJ42]

ROFLMAO! That's funny!

[Ed Yancey]

Bill, thanks for the needed laugh. It also reminded me of a TV program broadcast from Raleigh around the mid to late 50's or perhaps early 60's. It was a country music program fitted out with all the characters those shows had back then-- an advanced production of Hee Haw so to speak. The MC or vocal leader and announcer was Jim Thornton from here in North Carolina. I cannot remember the brand of dog food he advertised but part of the program each evening was Jim opening a can of the dog food and consuming the contents with a haughty laugh and big smile, licking his chops when finished and telling us all if it was good enough for the dogs it was good enough for him. Yes this really happened every show which was broadcast live. If you knew Jim you had no reason to doubt the contents in the can was "the real thing." Now that I have dated myself , someone else out there might remember this program and be corageous enough to confess to watching it . Ed

[Mousini78]

Uh, Ed, that wouldn't be Homer Briarhopper, would it? I remember that was country music...and was on early in the morning. My grandpa watched it religiously...no pun intended. Ok, I have dated myself as well....

[Mousini78]

Ok, Mr. Bill...gotta admit that's a good one....

[Tom]

Bill, I am not even gonna touch that!

[blackindiangirl]

Bill!!!! How hilariously funny!!!!:eek: :D :D

How could you do that to the lady? Especially once you knew she actually believed you. If I was in line...I probably couldn't keep from LOL. But I don't know. The way they make catfood nowadays.....it looks pretty good on the commercials. LOL:D RRRAAARRRR! One of my high school teachers used to eat chalk in class....how gross.:confused:

[Tom]

We once almost fed a buddy some "Yugoslovian Prem", we just could not do it, but what a great gag!
Bill, well I've heard of licking wounds and licking other items, I often used to tell my brother in law to "go lay down" and lick "something else" when he got in my face; but in a line up, that's great fun.. it reminded me of a "far side" comic when 2 dogs sent a third into traffic, the third made it across the street and one exclamed; "Rusty's in the Club" ! this one really made it into the club!

[sammarroq]

Thanks Bill, I needed a good laugh:) .

[Ed Yancey]

Becky, I remember Homer Briarhopper but this program was from the Raleigh area and broadcast every week I believe from a Raleigh station. I think we called it the Jim Thornton Show and he was the guy always eating the dog food. I can't remember the name of the dog food he advertised but some people said eating the dog food was what killed him. Well, I reckon we all have to go with something !
We had supper with a friend down here and interesting the conversation was when she was left to babysit her cousins while their mom's went shopping. Her mother instructed her to feed them tuna salad for lunch. Now her mother was always saving labels for bonus rewards and would take them off and then mark the cans with a magic marker. She found the cans marked tuna and proceeded to make tuna salad for the kids and remembers the boys came back for a second sandwitch. That evening her mom looked in the cabinet and said Susan what did you feed the kids for lunch. Her reply, Tuna Salad. Honey the Tuna Salad is still up here but the cat food is gone ! Oh Well they all still live today. Ed

[Tom]

Briar Hopper, not sure, I remember my Mom calling some one a "Ka-diddle-hopper",not in a bad way .

[PappyDick]

Wasn't Clem Kadiddlehopper the drunk character played by Red Skelton? (That was an old TV comedian, by the way.)

[Tom]

Oh I do remember Red Skelton, he was from Toronto the last I had heard or that area, he was truley magic, I wish that more comedians had his grasp of humor, a little out there a bit strange and always good for a laugh with no real profanity.

[Ed Yancey]

Pappy and Tom, I was trying to think "Clyde" or "Clive" Kadildilhopper but I believe Pappy has it right with Clem. It was the character that Red Skelton used in much of his work. We could well do with more of " his tribe " today. It get's pure sickening at the stuff people laugh at and call humor or comedy. Red Skelton was an artist to say the least in mime and comedy and most of this crowd today are little more than braggards and big mouths. No respect for themselves and in particular for women. ED

[techteach]

My husband says that it was Clem Kadildilhopper.

Techteach

[White Hawk]

If I am remembering correctly, didn't Clem sorta' hop his legs in the air while walking and a little bell would jingle when he did it? Always good for a laugh!

[PappyDick]

I believe he was supposed to have "jake leg," which was kind of funny to observe, but was actually a serious partial paralysis (caused by drinking an alcohol-based patent medicine, during Prohibition). And rather sad.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaican_ginger

[Ed Yancey]

Pappy, did you ever hear that Red Skelton had to overcome personal tragedy or trial of some kind before becoming the acclaimed actor and comedian ? I can't remember if it was alcoholism or loss of a child or both but I seem to remember he had undergone a deep and personal trial. ED

[PappyDick]

I'm no authority on Red Skelton... I was right that Clem Kadiddlehopper was one of his characters, but apparently he was the "country bumpkin" rather than the drunk. He did lose a child (to leukemia). This seems to be my day for posting Wikipedia links -- Skelton's is very informative. And has a link by which one may listen to some of his old radio shows. My memory of him, now dimming, is mostly from black and white TV shows of the 1950s, when I lived "at home," and my dad picked the programs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Skelton

[Mousini78]

I watched every Red Skelton show (on Tuesday nights) and once saw him perform in Raleigh. He was an honorable comedian and a wonderful person. Not only did he lose a child, but his ex-wife committed suicide.

Gertrude and Heathcliff were two of my favs, followed by Freddie the Freeloader...especially the Christmas specials. He was one with a true sense of what was funny...without expletives or knocking other races.

In fact, I have the programs on tape....good for when there's nothing else on tv worth watching....it was truly a sad day when the world lost him...may he rest in peace...good night and may God bless.

[Mousini78]

Homer Briarhopper was a truly different individual. It was a homegrown local show that produced country music. He wore a wide brim white hat and my grandfather watched him every morning...and it was on early like about 6:30.

http://www.answers.com/topic/briarhopper-homer

[techteach]

I watched Red Skelton too. I loved his Freddie the Freeloader character.

Techteach

[Buffalowm]

Bill,
You should have told the clerk in the store " HERE'S YOUR SIGN"

Jade

[quietgirl]

hahahahahahahhaha! funny funny joke!