Bill Childs
11-23-2004, 10:31 PM
"All the news that's fit to print".... taken from daily newspapers, I kid you not.... yes, I had to add a coment.
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"
(really?)
"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
(that'll teach 'em)
"Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?"
(friends never tell friends)
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
(what a guy!)
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
(good-for-nothing-layabouts)
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
(we'll see if that works better than a fair trial)
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
(y'don't say!)
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
(y'reckon?!)
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
(who would've thunk!)
"Enfield (London) Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide"
(could be onto something)
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
(is that stronger than duct tape?)
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"
(sounds like he IS the battery)
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
(weren't they large enough already?)
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"
(a real man takes responsibility instead of blaming the beans)
"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"
(I hear they taste like chicken)
"Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy"
(every little bit of protein helps - he's a really giving person)
"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
(Texas chainsaw massacre?)
"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"
(those guys should be in the NBA)
"Typhon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
(I certainly hope so)
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"
(really?)
"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
(that'll teach 'em)
"Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?"
(friends never tell friends)
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
(what a guy!)
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
(good-for-nothing-layabouts)
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
(we'll see if that works better than a fair trial)
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
(y'don't say!)
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
(y'reckon?!)
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
(who would've thunk!)
"Enfield (London) Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide"
(could be onto something)
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
(is that stronger than duct tape?)
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"
(sounds like he IS the battery)
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
(weren't they large enough already?)
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"
(a real man takes responsibility instead of blaming the beans)
"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"
(I hear they taste like chicken)
"Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy"
(every little bit of protein helps - he's a really giving person)
"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
(Texas chainsaw massacre?)
"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"
(those guys should be in the NBA)
"Typhon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
(I certainly hope so)